Great Sand Dunes National Park

We started the summer field trip season with a trip to Great Sand Dunes National Park in Colorado. Admittedly, this park has been on our to do list since we moved to Colorado five years ago. Yes, five years ago we planned the trip down and five years ago we wound up postponing the trip... 

I'm sad to say it took so long because I have never heard a friend say anything bad about this park and we've known dozens of people from the Boulder- Denver area to visit and come back, some yearly. 

I'm also sad to say it took five years because this park is naturally fun! We've been to many parks and monuments within the NP system and very few I have described as naturally fun. While our wanderlusting family almost always has fun on a hike, viewing animals or learning, most parks are very "rulesy" for important reasons... This depends on parks of course some being better than others but GSDNP is mellow. I don't think we saw a ranger patrolling at all and the rangers we met were friendly. 

We started the morning off by picking up our Jr. Ranger books from the visitor center. A1 noticed both the badge and patch and told us you get both. Petrified Forest is so far the only park to give us each upon completion so I asked about it and the ranger told me the kids get one or the other when they finish the book but if you make a donation the kids get both. 

Fast forward several hours when A2 turned in her book and showed both to me I asked J if he had given a donation, it turns out they did not even mention it. I thought maybe it was a token for the younger kids but the same ranger we talked to that morning did so with all of the kids and never once mentioned donations to the families ahead of us in line. 

We did not spend time in the mountains area of the park as we met with "thunder sn-ail" mid day but the dunes were great! Natures sandbox and I think A2's favorite thing ever! Combine climbing, sand, water and sledding- it turns out she was in heaven! Even when flying down some very steep dunes, she had a blast... Maybe not when she realized she was alone at the bottom of the run but she was happy when J boarded down and met her at the bottom. 

A1 had a fantastic time learning to board and playing with Uncle E. She has since asked to go back... Today and every year in the future. This has only happened with four parks in the past: Mesa Verde, Arches, Yellowstone and Chaco! I love to see parks make a lasting impact on her for whatever reason that may be. As we were getting ready for bed tonight she asked to learn about the dunes and ecology at the park. NPS has fantastic guides for teachers on their website and tons of information about various parks. I pretend like our tax dollars only fund the Dept. Of the Interior for this reason alone.

So... The list of things we love: 

Sand sledding- they allow you to rent from two locations, one in town the other near the entrance to the park. Those sleds fly! While they were expensive to rent at $21/ sled they provided wax and we damaged a sled hitting a piece of debri. We were not charged as it was considered normal wear and tear. 

You can also bring your own sleds but several people mentioned it works better with a rental. I think we will look on line for one.... It's probably a better value if you head down for a long weekend.

Sand boarding- again $21/ board but the adult boards are useable by both adults and kids... 

She got quite far on her runs! 

Sometimes J can get bored, this park meets his requirement to have a possibility of ER visit. 

Full disclosure: I tried Sandboarding, not my thing... I will stick to skiing, which coincidentally, you can also do so bring your skis and wax. Word on the dunes is to wait for the wet sand and you should probably leave the powder skis at home.

Thank goodness I was the one with the camera... I doubt my memories will fade so I can do without the photos and videos. I am happy I tried though... 

The creek is great, both of our children have raynauds so cold generally repels them but racing across the creek and playing alongside it was fun none the less. 

We also love that GSDNP allows dogs! Not many parks do! 

Dislikes may come on future visits which I would blog about but this visit was short and fantastic excluding the mildly flooded roads on the way down and the mildly flooded and semi snow covered roads on the way home. 

Random conversations

Do you ever have one of those parenting moments when you think, "I got this?"

Today, it happened. It's made me feel much more confident about our choice to homeschool in a week when I've had a lot of doubts.

Random Person: Do you like school?

A1: No.

Me: Do you like learning?

A1: Yes.

Me: What do you like learning?

A1: History, science, math and I love learning Chinese, Spanish and French.

RP: You like learning but you don't like school?

A1: Yep!

RP: How does that work?

A1: Because I don't GO TO school. I have autonomy in my learning.

RP: You don't go to school? How do you know you do not like it?

A1: Because I like deciding what I want to learn. Teachers make you learn what beer-o-crats want you to learn and I LOVE field trips.

Me: Bureaucrats.

RP: Doesn't your mom decide what you learn for you?

A1: She helps me learn new things but if I don't like it we find something new I like.

RP: Surely you don't give her control?

Me: Well, actually, I do. Kids love learning and exploring. If she is learning what she wants, she retains it... Otherwise, she discards it. I'm not a fan of wasting time.

RP: She is going to grow up and have to do things she doesn't want to do.

Me: I suppose... Hopefully, it wont be her job because she has opportunities to explore what real professionals do while her peers are asking for permission to pee.

This was what I needed, we are not doing this in vain... Our child recognizes what she wants and know she has the ability to change things that are not working for her. Her peers do not always have that ability. They are taught society and their parents own them. That, is one of the many reasons we homeschool.

Trial and Failure

Our three year old is an introvert as a result of a sensory processing disorder. Going on the road for three weeks unexpectedly caused her to leave her shell, grow and gain confidence in herself on hikes, and it ultimately translated to warming up to people in general. I refuse to believe it was a coincidence. I saw the growth and it was beautiful and in many ways it was a blessing. I've spent many hours trying to convince Jay to go vagabond as a result. No luck, yet.

With the amazing improvements we've had at parks and in otherwise social situations with coaches and friends, she still likes to be alone when she is overwhelmed and that is okay. Each of us have our own coping mechanisms but as a parent, it's my job to help navigate these issues and guide them where they need help. She needs a little help at the moment.

So... How do we cope with little sisters sensory processing issues when big sister is fully extroverted and has a desire to explore museums?

I've yet to come up with a good solution.

As child led homeschoolers, we rely on our kids to guide us and try to create an environment in which they both thrive. One thrives in museums and the other thrives exploring and growing in peace, IE- hiking, and playing in fields. Big sister loves hiking but is very intolerant of weather (yes, we have some of the best gear on the market- no it does not work with her Raynaud's often when we have issues in our house on cool days!)

We are trying to work through this issue so forgive us if we up and leave because of a three year old nearing a meltdown (or who is already there- we try to avoid this if possible.) I suspect the coming months and years will be a big case of trial and error--- err failure as we are learning from other families on this path.

I'm hoping we will see new growth this summer disconnecting from schedules and routines.. if nothing else works. I'm being optimistic though, while SPD is a tad bit frustrating, I am by far more patient than I was with big sister and I feel I have become a better parent while navigating these issues.

So a few glasses of wine after a long day of testing our limits and reevaluating boundaries the past three months has offered me a newer perspective.

New is good. New forces change and evolution. My goal as a parent is to evolve with our kids. I don't have this. I'd be lying if I said I do... but eventually I will get this issue down... Probably after a lot of failures. Failure is good, right?

The Misadventures of New Mexico

We spent a few days on the road before Jay needed to start back at work for the New Year.

Four days...

Two dogs....

Two kids.....

An inch of snow....

This past summer when I took the girls for three weeks on the road there was no fighting...

There was a lot of fighting.

There were no tears this past summer, less that one time we were leaving the Grand Canyon heading to Zion and there were no gas stations open... No food... etc. and we ran out of snacks. It may have been my definition of a personal nightmare (and Lex's.)

There were a lot of tears.

The overall disaster of this trip was amazingly impressive. 

Ten years from now we will remember the tears at Chaco as we ran along a trail looking for the petroglyphs and waiting an hour in the car to regain circulation in our fingers and toes. 

The girls became the first and second Jr. Rangers at Chaco in 2015 and we really enjoyed having the park to ourselves.

A tradition made over the summer, one which would not die on an 11 degree day.

Not impressed with his interruptions while taking pics of some great kiva's.

At this point Jay had already hiked this area while I waited in the car with the girls. While excavating the ruins they discovered many macaw skeletons which had been traded up this way, the feathers have been found at Mesa Verde showing some pretty extensive trade paths.

Little doors.

The snowball queen.

Because I like our blog to be a place of honesty, I should probably mention that dad went out there because of the wind... Someone needed a little help walking to the sign. We plan on heading back to the sister parks again at some point in the future. Carlsbad had closed because there was no water going to the park... and apparently they closed the highway to the park;) We may have driven around the already knocked over sign.

The girls enjoyed Blizzards company on the trip. I'm not sure she appreciates pink flower bows... but it did stay in her hair for a few hours.

Our last stop was Capulin, A1 very much enjoys exploring geology so this was a very fun trip. She's been rather disappointed though in the past few weeks. Since visiting Volcan de Colima has erupted. Yes, silly me planned our trip to the wrong Mexico. 

Overall, I'm learning to appreciate failure and misadventure. There have been many field trips that went off without a hitch that we have few memories of... while the trips that failed, we remember. Plus, when a misadventure happens we have an excuse to go back. This trip, less Chaco- will likely be repeated. 

A little update, changes for the New Year, MealFit, travel future:)

We've been pretty busy and I have been in an otherwise bad place for the past few months.

When we started the roadschool journey this past summer I was pretty determined to plan everything and organize our travel plans diligently. One thing I learned rather quickly was planning is a bad idea or that plans don't always work. Things can change quickly. It can be a case of food poisoning in the desert, an otherwise unplanned event, even weather.

In October, we planned to spend Lex's third birthday visiting Nebraska. Days before leaving our dog had her standard six month check up and had lost weight. A lot of weight though I suppose that is subjective. While we were waiting on lab results we had to cancel the trip. Thankfully, an amazing friend and mom we know locally offered to watch Blizzard so we could get away for a night to Colorado Springs. It meant a lot to us. Particularly, because we didn't realize how difficult it would be for her to merge into a new environment... This friend is a rock star.

We thought those issues would be resolved by November but they were not. We cancelled Athena's birthday trip to New Mexico. She handled it with grace and maturity. When we asked what she wanted to do for her birthday she simply asked to visit the Denver Museum of Nature and Science for the Whales exhibit again. Wish granted.

During December we spent time evaluating what we would like to see change in the new year... One of the things I really wanted to see change was relationships. We had been maintaining a toxic relationship for a year. Yes, a year.

The obvious choice was to cut ties but as parents, relationships we have impact our children and not always in a positive light. We opted to keep the relationship at an arms length... which had been working until this fall when circumstances made it difficult to do so. As passive aggressive e-mails increased and Athena became increasingly uncomfortable around the adult, we made the choice to "delete" the person from our lives. After all, a seven year old should not be afraid to have a birthday party because she does not want to invite one child.

Now that it is done. I feel safe. Safe is the best way to describe this. The negativity this person was creating was horrible, there were days I felt physically sick after running into her... and dreaded running into her on the other days. Athena feels safe, she is happy to see the negativity go and wants to plan a birthday party, a little late- but I'm happy knowing she isn't afraid.

Other things we plan to change this year- our health. Until Athena was five we were the organic, non processed paleo parents at all times. Adjusting to new schedules and homeschooling threw that off for us. Half of the battle for us was meal planning and grocery lists. I can't say how many times we were running to the store because we did not have basic spices or other things in the house to make meals we planned on making.

So we signed up for MealFit. So far we are liking it. The meals are 90% paleo... though I've found we need to sub out certain things because we do not eat soy ingredients or cornstarch...

Okay, confession time: I didn't know people EAT cornstarch. I didn't know it was a food.

Otherwise, we are really going to crackdown and focus on our travel goals in the long term. Where do we want to relo to? When? Will it be temp? Will it be long term? Third world or developing/ developed world? Backpacking? Biking? RVing? We have a lot of choices and I don't think either of us want to narrow the field completely so I'm excited to see what we decide.

Chores

We started a new chore chart last fall and we've made some changes. The chores remained the same but the approach of pay has changed. Recently, we read about a mom who paid her kids to do chores. Yes, this is a huge debate in and of itself but she had an interesting take on the paid tasks. She paid on a scale: Poor quality, standard expectations and exceeds expectations.

We've decided to adapt a variation of this. The girls will still have the ability to earn their age in dollars as the maximum weekly, yet poor performance will result in less financial reward.

Our chore chart is simple, it follows tasks we need to perform each week and allows me to guide and help with each task. Each task focuses on what most people will need to know as an adult.

Monday- Laundry. Athena's responsibility is to put her laundry in the washing machine, switch it over and fold and put it away.

Tuesday- Dishes. Rinse the dishes, load the dishwasher and put them away properly.

Wednesday- Help create a meal plan, list of items to buy, find those items at the grocery store and put them away properly when we arrive home.

Thursday- Clean and organize room and play room.

Friday- Help organize the family room, this involves her doing any light dusting or sweeping that I may need help with.

Sunday- Help with tasks around the garage, lawn and house Raking, harvesting, canning, stud finding if using nails, pulling weeds and more. Obviously, not all of these tasks are completed each weekend.

If she does a poor job she will receive a quarter, if she completes the job to a respectable standard, she receives $.75 and if she completes the job beyond our expectations she will receive a dollar. Our chore system is not forced, it is voluntary so if she chooses to forego a chore, she will not receive financial reward.

This method made a lot of sense to me. As an adult, she will be rewarded for good job performances in the form of bonuses, promotions and respect earned by colleagues. If her performances are lacking, she will let down those same people which may (likely will) result in a loss of respect, job promotions or a job in general.

I've found this to be very motivational. While it is a Monday, I am finishing up a few apple/ pear sauces and she is dying to learn. Her performance in the kitchen today has been amazing!

Only being a few weeks in, I can't really say how the new system is working but I look forward to exploring the new opportunities and potential growth.

I would love to hear others experiences and philosophies so feel free to share.

Reflecting and moving on...

We started our "school" year on July 1st so this is a little late to the game as we are currently on fall break for two weeks.

Anyway, reflecting...

I used K as a learning experience finding what works for us academically and what philosophies work for Athena.  I've found we have an appreciation for most philosophies, roadschooling, Charlotte Mason and hands on projects. Sometimes I feel pressure or judgement to pick a philosophy because others feel it works so well for them. The thing, most either don't work for me or Athena and we need it to work for us as a team.

Last year also left me wanting to step back from a lot of activities and I did. We dropped a gymnastics class for Athena. We dropped any Saturday activity and we dropped any weekly commitments outside of paid EC's all specifically chosen and thought out by our kids. Athena has five hours of structure per week. She sets her own goals and thrives at meeting them.

I've been questioning a lot of what I thought we needed as well and now that we are into the school year, we've decided to reduce what we are doing. Not because we are overwhelmed or stressed like last year but because Athena has choices. Lex has choices. They make them each day, some I agree with and others I step back and cringe wondering why the prefrontal cortex did not come fully developed. Come on evolution, step up your game! In all seriousness, they are learning and I am thankful to grow alongside of them. 

Athena has chosen to step back from play dates.

I never thought I would type that particular sentence in regards to the first born. For anyone who knows her, you know she is social and loves her friends fiercely.

She misses her friends when we are unable to see them. With this step back, we are hoping to see her close friends more frequently and in smaller groups giving her time to build and nourish each friendship. 

I felt weird leaving group play dates. It was me. Not her... Which made me ponder, are play dates really for kids or for moms?

A friend set this in motion today. Another friend told me about it and 'forced' me away from my cave today. I gave up my troglodyte status to venture away from the cave and chat only to come home and to feel relief. Yes, relief.

I'm not the only one who feels pressure to say yes. I'm not the only one who feels the need to step back or out completely! So we are, we are stepping back from various groups and group play dates to nurture the relationships with the families we don't always have the chance to be around.

It may seem like a big decision but to me now, today, it seems small. It seems tiny and it made me wonder why it had taken so long. Thank you friends! I'm thankful for each of you!